The debris of accumulated emotional garbage scattered around
Unseen
But felt in the core
A heaviness in the chest
A roiling in the abdomen
Emptiness in the head
The buildup of rage
Ate away at my control like acid
Until it snapped
My voice, deep and hoarse and roaring, sounding like someone else's
Spewed all of the poison of my innermost soul
And I watched it make its insidious way into his psyche
Until it reflected on his face
Ugly, naked pain
The savagery of my joy transformed me
For one hot, meretricious moment
Made it worthwhile
I was no longer his whipping boy
No longer his emotional prisoner
No longer his devoted victim
I was the monster he painted me to be
Striking and drubbing with heavy wood and heavier words
He hates me, he said
Well, I dislike him
Almost as much as I love him
And resent him
And yearn for him
And want to nurture him
And pity him
That gossamer thread that binds us so tightly in unholy confederation
Looser now
But still there
Always there
Despite the illusion of a schism
Passionately we love and hate the parts of ourselves we see reflected in the other
With cowardice we accept the parts we have given to each other as we act out this unoriginal tragedy
Lusus naturae both
Lusus naturae with bleeding hearts
Tortured souls
And minds twisted and tangled into the traps
That we use to hurt the ones closest to us
And ourselves...
Always ourselves...
© All Textual Rights Reserved by Kristiana Bennett
2 comments:
very nice poems:)
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