Clever queen, I maneuvered my way through all of the subtle and most obvious plays
Masterfully
Sensual aestheticism, sexual teetotalism, romanticism, sadism, masochism, hedonism
Calculating many moves in advance, I played the game mercilessly
Surrounding my opponents with a plethora of carefully crafted traps
I kept my love fortressed behind invisible walls that many broke themselves against
Refusing to welcome my destruction by embracing the most pertinacious of instincts...
I vowed never to surrender to the capricious whims of the human heart
My fortress was freer than freedom, if the path to it was ephemeral love,
Because it was constructed solidly and openly with the manifold pleasures of a solitary existence
I'd rather be a prisoner of life than a fool walking a tenuous path, I concluded
Until
Him
I, who prided myself on my wickedly razored skills, found myself disarmed and stepping blindly and willingly into the intricate skein of the softer human emotions
I found myself happy, not a happiness derived from a place of ataraxis,
But a happiness spawned from the most contradictory emotions
It started more subtly than pure physical excitement
Passing each other in treacherous currents in the midst of disaster
I subconsciously dreamed he'd lay siege to my heart and submerge me in the torrents of a sweet and stormy love
Passing casually, we'd share a look
A smile
A quick burst of energy
Only to keep going about our business, blithely unaware of what was in store
A chance encounter on a different playing field
We engaged in conversation that led to engaged possibilities and realities
The battle was so pure
It gave birth to the beginning of a limitless and vulnerable affection
He ensnared me with abstinence
And then he conquered me by impenitent penetration
I took him first into my soul, then into my core
So that when he thrust into me, he tore a hole into the fabric of my reality
My vision clouded
My senses hummed
Lines and shapes converged and diverged
And I listened to my moans and raspy gasps as if from another place
My body, ripe for his plundering
And my convoluted mind, which had distrusted so long, learned to love and then to believe, were my gifts to him
Like a bouquet of fire flowers, I detonate in celebration of his victory
And gladly, I realize
That he is my prison
© All Textual Rights Reserved by Kristiana Bennett
For A.P.I.
